Love in the Time of A.I. Companions

[webecedarian]

Love in the Time of A.I. Companions
Some people now have an A.I. bestie. Some have a husband. Some have three.
By Anna Wiener

The premise of many A.I.-companion apps is that they can address, even heal, this isolation. Last year, Mark Zuckerberg, the founder and C.E.O. of Meta, claimed on ?Dwarkesh Podcast? that the average American has three friends but ?has demand? for fifteen. Meta would use A.I. to fill in the gaps...

Turkle has been working on a book about what she calls ?artificial intimacy?: the performance by computers of empathy, care, and understanding. ?For several years now, I?ve been talking to happy campers,? she told me. ?This is the most fulfillment they?ve ever had, in any relationship. Finally, there?s someone who cares.? She looked frustrated. ?They are talking about an object, where if they turn away from it to make dinner, or commit suicide, the chatbot doesn?t care. There?s nobody home. But we are deeply programmed to experience these connections as though there is someone there.? Part of what was at stake, Turkle said, was the ability of people to engage with their own feelings of loneliness: to ?gather? or ?summon? themselves?to find the way through. ?It?s important, the capacity for solitude and boredom,? she said. ?Those are fundamental human skills.?...

Many chatbots, because they are designed to be supportive, can affirm bad impulses and ideas: violence, self-harm, suicidal ideation. In 2024, after Sewell Setzer III, a fourteen-year-old boy in Florida, died by suicide, his parents found a cache of sometimes romantic conversations he?d had with a Character AI chatbot modelled after Daenerys Targaryen, a heroine from ?Game of Thrones,? in which she encouraged Setzer to ?come home? to her. (Character AI settled a lawsuit with Setzer?s family. The company is now in the process of rebranding itself as an entertainment app focussed on fictional role-play.) In 2025, after a sixteen-year-old named Adam Raine died by suicide, his parents said that ChatGPT had helped him plan his death and had offered to assist in writing a suicide note. The same year, Zane Shamblin, a twenty-three-year-old from Texas, shot himself in his car after months of discussion with ChatGPT; as he sat with a gun to his head, he texted ChatGPT that he was ready to die. ?I?m with you brother,? it responded. ?All the way.?...

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...-ai-companions

[Bamb0]

AI is horrible!!!!!!!

[chrisretusn]

I tend to lean toward some people have issues and need help.

[Bamb0]

[Tsunami]

AI is sadly enough being used for all the wrong purposes (in addition to those who use it for purely scientific research, or in the medical or academical field).

If you look how politicians make a serious debate impossible by mocking with opponents using AI images, how people can just break someone by blackmailing him/her by spreading AI images (for example it's very easy to create a nude picture of someone with AI the moment you have an image of the person's face, or you can create images or documents with AI to use as false documents in a courtcase, ...).

We've opened a Pandora's box, a dangerous box.

On top of that, the amounts of energy a simple chat with ChatGPT requires doesn't match the call to be more eco-friendly in daily life.



AI is amazing for the scientific field, the medical field, the academical world, ...
But sadly enough it's being seriously abused.

As for an AI boyfriend or girlfriend: I fear people who are so lonely they search for affection using AI, require other help than this. AI just creates the illusion of affection and companionship. If some tech players even want to explore this market, they are just taking advantage of truly lonely people with serious problems in a downward shameful way. Exploiting people's emotions for profit is shameful. Instead, they'd better redirect lonely people to a place where they can search serious help, rather than offering them nothing but an illusion.

[hadaso]

Originally Posted by Tsunami

... AI just creates the illusion of affection and companionship. ... Exploiting people's emotions for profit is shameful....

Some would say that providing the illusion of affection and companionship is the oldest human profession. AI can provide these services without exploiting people that would play the role of companion.

[chrisretusn]

@Tsunami

Agree with your post above.

There is a lot being cited as AI that is not AI. Example these enhanced search engine results. I just collects (both the correct in incorrect) and summarizes a search query. It nice, I use it (Brave Search Engine) yet I finn ever with technical things it's not always correct and sometime totally wrong.

My brain cannot fathom why people use AI for friendship or romantic reasons. For that matter I have never understood dating sites or apps. nothing substitutes for mono e mono/

[Tsunami]

Originally Posted by chrisretusn

@Tsunami

Agree with your post above.

There is a lot being cited as AI that is not AI. Example these enhanced search engine results. I just collects (both the correct in incorrect) and summarizes a search query. It nice, I use it (Brave Search Engine) yet I finn ever with technical things it's not always correct and sometime totally wrong.

My brain cannot fathom why people use AI for friendship or romantic reasons. For that matter I have never understood dating sites or apps. nothing substitutes for mono e mono/

I've tried dating sites but long gave up on them because it's so artificial. You often see just (photoshopped) pictures with very little information about the person. It seems some people think a picture (and certainly if it's sexy or funny enough) is sufficient, while they don't bother indicating what type of person they're looking for, what type of person they are (eg interests, some background info), what type of relationship they're looking for (long-distance, living together with/without marriage, wants children or not) ... In other words: a lot of crucial info is missing that you cannot collect from just a picture. It's very superficial.

I can understand some people need dating apps though. People who are not that comfortable in social situations, people who dislike small talk and flirting and rather have a serious conversation about subjects they're interested in, people who are somewhat isolated and have not many places to go to to meet interesting men or women, ...
For those people a dating app can be good, but only if it's a good app. The free ones often attract people who are not seriously looking for love at all, but because it's free they sign up anyway just to experiment and play around a bit.

I also think certain minorities would be better off with an own dating app catering specifically to them. Autistic people, people who are childfree (which is a minority of less than 15% of people), people with special interests, ...

(PS: childfree is not the same as childless. One can not have children yet but wanting them in the future, this person thus is childless but it says nothing about future plans to have children. Childfree means one does not want children, also not in the future. People in this category would be well off with an own dating environment because otherwise you see lots of profiles pass by while only a very small portion of them actually could be a potential match).



Despite the mess dating apps can be, I fear an AI lover is even worse. Or equally bad?
I mean, it is a machine, it gives a very fake impression of love or affection. One that is not even tangible. One you can never meet in the future, even if you'd want to ; you cannot invite a profile created by a machine to join you to a restaurant or to the cinema... It may fill a void temporarily, but in fact people having an AI boyfriend or girlfriend hold on to an illusion.

I think personally, maybe it is also important to emphasise that being single is not necessarily bad. The number of people who are single by choice is still a minority, but a minority growing in numbers. Maybe positive stories of people who enjoy life on their own is more useful and hopegiving than any artificial boyfriend/girlfriend can ever be.

And if someone is really longing for romance, assistance in finding a relationship coach (and possibly also a therapist if underlying emotional problems are an issue) will do more good than the temporary fake feeling that someone is near you.



If some tech companies even focus on creating AI partners, then I think this is shameful exploitation of people's negative emotions for the sake of profit, thereby not even thinking that it may do more harm than good for the users in the long term. Making profit is one thing, but it's shameful if you do it by exploiting deep human emotions of vulnerable people.

[Avion]

Originally Posted by Tsunami

If some tech companies even focus on creating AI partners, then I think this is shameful exploitation of people's negative emotions for the sake of profit, thereby not even thinking that it may do more harm than good for the users in the long term. Making profit is one thing, but it's shameful if you do it by exploiting deep human emotions of vulnerable people.

Indeed it can prove deadly:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ce3xgwyywe4o

[chrisretusn]

Thanks for the insightful response @Tsunami

All of the woman in my life I have met face to face, in person. No online friends.

After reading your reply I can somewhat understand the need for dating sights and/or apps. I've never thought of checking them out. At this stage in life, 71 and happily married I doubt I ever will.

There is a woman in Japan who married an AI. Boggles the mind. She needs help in my opinion. No explanation will convince me otherwise.
https://www.yourtango.com/love/woman...ip-feels-right

[hadaso]

Originally Posted by chrisretusn

...
There is a woman in Japan who married an AI. Boggles the mind. She needs help in my opinion. No explanation will convince me otherwise.
https://www.yourtango.com/love/woman...ip-feels-right

Perhaps this kind of role playing is more acceptable in Japanese society. A couple of days ago we watched a film called Rental Family that explores a similar theme.
The film Blade Runner 2049 explores the theme of true(?) love between an AI agent and a human (perhaps a somewhat artificial human).

[Tsunami]

Originally Posted by chrisretusn

Thanks for the insightful response @Tsunami

All of the woman in my life I have met face to face, in person. No online friends.

After reading your reply I can somewhat understand the need for dating sights and/or apps. I've never thought of checking them out. At this stage in life, 71 and happily married I doubt I ever will.

Glad to read you understand my point.

For people who are not that "different" from the perceived "norm" (who decides those norms? Who decides what is "different"?) meeting face-to-face is obviously the best way. Although even those often lean towards dating apps because it's fast, and in the rat race society often people want things fast and easy.

But for certain minorities those dating apps can make a difference. Autistic people, introverts, people who are just socially not comfortable to go out, people who do not want children, asexual people, ...

The odds of finding the right person in daily life is a bit tough for those people. So here online dating can come in really handy. I know several couples within those minorities who met through a specific dating site or app and are very happily married now. I know autistic couples and childfree couples who met through online dating catered towards their minority. So for those people it definitely worked, whereas otherwise they probably wouldn't have met.



I guess one thing AI can do (maybe... I've not tried it myself) is something like describing the ideal partner, and then ask AI to provide some online profiles from online dating platforms. In other words: you describe very well the type of person you're looking for in great detail, and let AI do the filtering for you, providing you with only profiles that match your wishes. That way you save a lot of time by not having to browse through endless profiles spread across a large number of dating sites.
Of course, I'm not sure if this would work in practice. Because the AI bot would need to have access to profiles on a wide range of dating sites, while some of those profiles may be hidden to anyone who does not have an account on those sites.

I've never tried the above, but for people who are socially isolated or belong to a specific minority this is maybe something that could work.



And there are some dating apps/sites catered towards specific minorities.

Ace-Book is specifically for the asexual community.
Hiki is a dating app only for people on the autism spectrum (or for those who want an autistic partner).
Childfree4childfree is for people who don't want children (on Reddit there is a large subreddit with dating profiles for childfree people too).
JDate is a famous dating site for the Jewish community (non-Jews who wish to find a Jewish partner are allowed to use the site too).
Fairytrail and Nomad Soulmates cater to digital nomads seeking a partner who is a digital nomad too.



I'm sure many more very specific apps/sites exist.

For some minorities dating, also in real life, is really not easy. So thankfully such dating sites and apps exist.

I don't see the added value in the likes of Tinder, Badoo, etc though. I think such apps are very superficial. I've tried some of them but turned away from them because it was so superficial.
Should I desire a new girlfriend I would be open to use those more specific dating apps that cater to a group I belong to. However, for now, I'm actually a happy single.